Project: Children Who Witness Violence Program
Organization: Children's Hospital Medical Center
Akron, OH
Story submitted by Melissa Peace, Project Director

Balloons for Sara: Johnny's Message to his Mother

When officers arrived at Sara’s house, lights flashing and sirens blaring, it was too late.  Sara lay on the floor brutally beaten by a hammer.  This young, single mother of three was beaten to death by her baby’s daddy.

When Officer Williams went to notify Sara’s mother of her daughter’s death, he called Summit County Children Who Witness Violence to provide care and support to Sara’s children.  Officer Williams knew from training that even though the children were not direct witnesses of this violent act, they would be traumatized by the loss of their mother.

When Theresa and Jeannie arrived at grandma’s house, they were grateful that the crisis workers from the Children Who Witness Violence Program always go out in teams of two. Not only were Sara’s three children there, but so were all of their cousins.  Upon arriving at the house, Theresa and Jeannie heard screaming and yelling.  “No! No! No! My baby’s not dead!” screamed grandma, who then fell to the couch sobbing.  All the adults in the room were attending to grandma and the officers looked very uncomfortable.  Theresa introduced themselves to the family and explained they were there to help the children.  Officer Williams took Theresa and Jeannie to the basement where all the children were huddled together looking scared, shocked and pained.

Johnny, Sara’s eight-year-old son, asked, “Is my mommy dead?”  As Jeannie answered, “Yes, your mommy is dead,” Johnny began to cry.  A few of the older children in the room began to make fun of Johnny for crying, saying “boys don’t cry.”  Theresa told everyone that “It is OK to cry, it is normal to feel sad when someone dies, and often when someone is sad, they cry.” 

All the children were then given a special teddy bear.  Jeannie said, “You can hug your teddy bear when you feel sad or alone.  You can cry on your teddy’s shoulder and tell the teddy anything you want.”

Over the next few weeks Jeannie and Theresa helped the children by talking about their feelings of loss, sadness, anger and confusion about the murder of their Aunt Sara.  Johnny always seemed withdrawn and didn’t want to talk.  Finally, one day Johnny told Jeannie, “It’s my fault that mommy’s dead.  I knew she was being hit and I didn’t do anything.  I didn’t say anything.”  “Johnny, it’s not your fault your mom died.  You couldn’t have done anything to stop what happened.  You know your mom was trying to get help,” replied Jeannie.  After that, Johnny had many questions about heaven and hell, the funeral, and court proceedings.

Johnny was afraid he would forget his mom, so Theresa helped Johnny make and decorate a memory box where he put items in the box that would help him remember his mom.  Also, Johnny and his cousins were sad because they didn’t get to say goodbye to Sara.  Theresa helped everyone write special messages to Sara.  “I love you,” “Goodbye,” “I miss you,” some of the messages said.  Jeannie went to get helium balloons while the children were writing their messages.  When Jeannie got back, Theresa and Jeannie helped the children attach their messages to the balloons.  Theresa said, ”We are going to let go of the balloons and let them float into the sky so Sara can know how you feel.”
Johnny asked, “If my mommy is in heaven, will she get my message?  Why do people go to hell instead of heaven?  Are heaven and hell real?  Where is my mommy?”  Jeannie asked, “Where do you think your mommy is?”  Johnny replied, “In heaven, she was a good mom, she loved me and took good care of me.”  Theresa said, “Sara may not get your messages, but when she was alive she knew how much you loved her.  She will see your love forever as she watches over each of you.”

Many changes happened for Johnny and his family.  He moved in with grandma and started a new school.  Johnny had some trouble adjusting to his new neighborhood and had a hard time getting along with other children.  Children Who Witness Violence helped and supported Johnny, his little brothers, and grandma through all of the changes associated with the grieving process.  The family will deal with this tragedy every day for the rest of their lives, but our program was able to assist them through the crisis so they could cope and succeed as a changed family unit.

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